Sex, sex, sex. There I said it. In that context, it’s
not so scary. It’s something that’s seen in the media every day by countless
people. But being constantly bombarded with images by the media, whether
promoting sexual activity or denouncing it, seems to leave most people
in a state of confusion. Not to mention fear of STDs (Sexually Transmitted
Diseases), pregnancy, and the wrath of your parents (which, of course,
could be worst of all). Not only that, but these days, it seems like
everybody’s doing it. You hear stories of sexual escapades from friends,
from “the popular people,” and it just seems like an overwhelming epidemic
in teenage life. It seems like no one ever waits anymore.
Teenage promiscuity is at an all-time high, but that may be because
it is more widely accepted now. In fact, it’s not only accepted-it’s
the norm. Suddenly, those who choose to wait until marriage to have
sex become the minority, and the sexually experienced are the majority.
To resist sexual advances all of a sudden makes one prude, or a goody-goody.
On the other hand, to succumb to them can make someone one of many degrading
words used today. So where’s the balance?
The media today shows a number of views on sexual activity in teens.
Sometimes, it portrays sex as probably even more common than it really
is. Countless television shows show attractive people who have known
each other a day (or in some cases, even less) having sex. Then, pro-abstinence
groups bombard with public service announcements about pregnancy, abstinence
programs in school that leave some children clueless, and some religious
groups completely denounce sexual activity in teens. And lastly, there
are those who take the middle route-statistics of pregnancy, and warnings
to use contraception. With all these messages, it seems so easy to get
lost. Sometimes, you just have to ignore all of them and, as cheesy
as this sounds, follow what you think is right and comfortable for you.
Personally, I believe that people should not have sex until they are
in love, and not just any love, but a love that lasts forever. A marriage
love, if you will. So, I choose not to have sex until marriage, but
that’s my decision. I have so many friends who choose otherwise, and
I hold nothing against them because they do for themselves what they
feel is right. It’s all a matter of your own opinion.
Another factor in teenage sexuality is religion. Many religions are
against having sex before marriage. Many don’t mind it. Being Catholic,
I’ve always been raised to believe that sex before marriage is wrong,
it’s bad, it’s a sin. Now that I’m older and I can judge for myself,
I don’t think it’s wrong so much as wrong for me. The Catholic church
views sex as a gift, and that’s what I believe as well. Of course, there
are people who don’t have the same beliefs as I do. All I can say is,
follow what you truly believe. Whether or not it agrees with your religion
should not be a problem, if you trust your judgment and your own instincts
and heart.
Some people choose to have sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends
because they love them. Some choose to abstain until marriage. Whatever
choice you feel is the best for you is the one you should go with. But
here’s a fact to keep in mind. No matter how many people it seems are
sexually active, fewer than one half of high school students have had
sex. You’re not alone if you abstain.
Then, there’s the subject of consequences. You hear the word a lot.
“Make sure you know what the consequences are.” Well, what are the consequences
of premarital (or any) sex? First, sexually transmitted diseases. One
in every five Americans carries a sexually-transmitted disease, which
can be anything from chlamydia to syphilis to AIDS. STDs are diseases
transferred from one person to another through sexual activity, whether
it be oral or intercourse. They are diseases no one talks about, and
most people feel they are invincible from. Don’t think that it won’t
happen to you; if there is any risk of an STD, please get tested. For
more information on STDs, a good site is
Unspeakable.
Another consequence is pregnancy. About one million teen girls become
pregnant each year. And if the baby is born, chances are that it will
be born prematurely and underweight, making it susceptible to many life-threatening
diseases. A lot of teens don’t think that they could get pregnant or
father a child because they use contraceptives. Even contraceptives
are not 100% effective, which could result in pregnancy. To learn more
about preventing teen pregnancy, go to
Teen
Pregnancy Prevention.
Other consequences of teenage sexual activity could range from emotional
problems to self-esteem problems to regret. The majority of teens who
have had sex have reported that they wish they had waited. Make sure
you know the consequences before you act.
Ah, lastly, the topic of parents. Parents seem to have always done everything
perfectly. “When I was your age…” etc. Times were different then. Now,
with a different environment and a different society, they need to adapt
to the new situations. A lot of parents are more liberal these days.
Some are a bit less understanding. As far as parents go, having them
pry into your sex life is probably the last thing you’d want, right?
Well, you never know. As much as you don’t want to think about it, they
have been there, and they have gone through what you are going through.
If you feel comfortable enough with your parents to discuss it, talk
to them. Tell them how you feel. It’s better than them prying, isn’t
it? If you don’t feel comfortable enough with them, do your research.
It never fails. Some good websites to check out are
PPFA
Teenwire and
CFOC’s
Teen Sexuality Education.
Before you make any choices, you have to look at yourself and make sure
you feel comfortable. Ask yourself simple questions, like, “Am I ready
for this?” or “Why do I feel like I need to do this?” Teenage sexuality
is rampant these days, and a lot of it ends up in regret and bad situations.
Don’t let your life become a statistic. Make sure you know what you’re
doing, and if you know your own mind, maybe it won’t be so scary anymore.
