home    news/reviews    editorials    new talent     interviews     randumb videos     discussion board     info/contact

members present:
Aaron Barrett,
Scott Klopfenstein,
Carlos De La Garza

conducted on: July 2002
by: Natalie Kuchik
official website


PZO: What musician do you respect the most and why?
Scott: Myself because I am the best <laughter>
Aaron: I respect Scott because he is the best.
Carlos: Anybody but Scott because he sucks
Aaron: I like David Lindley the best because he is the master of all string instruments. He is my favorite guy. David Lindley, D-a-v-i-d L-i-n-d-l-e-y, Lindley, David Lindley
Scott: Myself because I am the best <laughter>
Carlos: I like the guy.
Scott: The guy, that’s a good way to start it buddy. I like the guy that plays music a lot, and does the thing. You have to excuse Carlos he does drugs. <laughter>
Carlos: I like Dimebag Darrell from Pantera because his guitar is really cool.
Scott: And his name is Dimebag. <Everyone laughs>
Aaron: They are kidding and I am serious David Lindley, D-a-v-i-d L-i-n-d-l-e-y. <laughter>
Scott: Myself because I am the best
Aaron: He’s being serious too; Carlos is the only one that’s kidding. <laughter>

PZO: What profession would you like to try?
Aaron: What profession?
PZO: Yeah
Scott: I would like to try having sex with a doctor.
<Everyone laughs>
Scott: A female doctor.
PZO: I don’t think that is a profession, but if you would like to make it one.
Scott: No, isn’t that what you mean? What kind of profession would I like to try having sex with? Isn’t that what you mean? <laughter>
Aaron: I would like to be a dentist.
Scott: Wait. I don’t understand the question rephrase it. <laughter>
Aaron: D-e-n-t-i-s-t
PZO: What would you like to be besides a musician?
Aaron: What kind of job would you like to try?
Scott: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh okay, yeah. Well when I was in kindergarten, from kindergarten to third grade I wanted to be a stockbroker because I saw that movie Trading Places with Dan Akroid and Eddie Murphy.
Aaron: And he used to watch Family Ties.
Scott: And I used to watch Family Ties too and they said if you are a stockbroker even if your clients don’t make money you make money, and when they do make money you make more money. I thought that was a good thing.
Aaron: What, making money?
Scott: Yeah making money. I got over that because I joined a band. But if I could be anything besides being a musician I would probably have sex with a female doctor.
Aaron: And I would be a dentist, d-e-n-t-i-s-t.
Carlos: I would um.
Aaron: Stop it you are being silly. <laughter>
Carlos: I would probably just uh, you know, some of that. Some of that stuff
Aaron: Quick thinking.
<Everyone laughs>
Dan: You can tell he went to school.
<Everyone laughs>
Carlos: I would probably go to school, that’s what I’d do. A lifer.

PZO: What song would you choose for a theme song for your life?
Scott: “Highway To Hell”
Aaron: “Highway to The Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggin. <Starts singing> "Highway to the danger zone got to take a ride." <Clicking noise starts> What the hell?
Scott: That’s you man.
Carlos: I would say “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate. Yeah, so that’s the one I choose.
Aaron: What in the..?
Scott: You keep pushing.
Aaron: I am not pushing nothing.
Scott: Well, there is a button here.
Aaron: See these buttons? I didn’t push them. I don’t even know what that does.
Carlos: Yeah, so that’s the one I would choose.
Aaron: What would you choose? <laughter>
Scott: “The Long and Winding Road” That’s a good question.

PZO: What song do you find singing to yourself when you are alone?
Scott: That’s a good question.
Aaron: I always have a song in my head and I am always singing something different, but my little default whistle is the little guitar line from the Jimi Hendrix “Third Stone From The Sun”. <Hums the song> I always whistle that on accident when there is nothing in my head. <Whistles the song> That is also in the song, “I’m too sexy” by Right Said Fred. They are great, except their second album wasn’t as great. That took awhile to get used too.
Scott: Um, the song, the song, what’s the question?
Aaron: What song do you find yourself always singing?
Carlos: I’m always singing “Wanna Be Starting Something” by Michael Jackson. <Starts singing>
Scott: The song I find myself humming it’s not really something that’s humable.

PZO: What is one of your favorite lines in one of your songs?
Carlos: Suck my bloody cock.
Aaron: No, that’s not a Reel Bug Fish song.
Scott: Oh right, he had me going there too for a second. <laughter>
Aaron: I like, “You’ll never touch the way that I feel just for the record she got the deal.”
Scott: That’s pretty good.

PZO: If you could change something about yourself what would you change and why?
Scott: Humph <Laughs>
PZO: <Laughs>
Scott: Come on, are you looking at us? What could possible need to be changed that would make us-- you are looking at perfection. <Everyone laughs>
Aaron: Except for everything.
Carlos: Except for yeah all this stuff.
Scott: If we could change one thing it would be everything.
Carlos: Yeah
Aaron: Yeah
Carlos: And our cocks.
Aaron: That’s a good answer.
Scott: I think that falls into the category of everything.
Carlos: Oh right. <laughter>

PZO: What is something that bothers you the most about one of your band mates?
Aaron: Everything <Everyone laughs>
Scott: The one thing that bothers me the most about some of my band mates is everything, yeah.
Carlos: Yep, and their cock.
Aaron: That falls under the category of everything.
Carlos: Right, yeah. <laughter>

PZO: If you could put a tour together including yourselves, who would be on it?
Scott: It would be, us.
Carlos: Toto
Scott: Toto, Tenacious D, Thelonius Monk
Aaron: Not Toto <laughs>
Carlos: And Tyra Banks.
Scott: Yeah, Tyra Banks.
PZO: Tyra Banks? I didn’t know she could sing.
Carlos: She’s just really hot. <laughter>
Scott: Yeah, she could just stand there onstage for a long time.
Carlos: And say, “Look at me. I’m Tyra Banks.”

PZO: If you could see any band perform any song live what would it be?
Carlos: I would love to see a Led Zeppelin set from back in the day. Any song would do. I have this live DVD thing they did, they put out recently. There is this guy that is like, “This is Led Zeppelin ladies and gentleman.” All proper and stuff, and they just come out and rock so fucking hard. I could imagine being there at that time and just being so fucking blown away because no one has ever done that type of music before. It would just be a mind blow.
Scott: I would like to see The Beatles play “She’s Our Heaven”. <Gets a distant look in his face> Yeah, that would be so great, it would be so special. I just hate music so it wouldn’t really matter.
Aaron: I always wanted to see Right Said Fred play “I’m Too Sexy”. Our old lead singer got to see them and he said they didn’t even have a band they were lip-syncing. This one guy had an acoustic guitar with all broken strings. <Everyone laughs> I wish I could have seen that.

PZO: What is the worst advice you have ever been given?
Scott: Hey, put your finger in there it feels pretty good. <Everyone laughs>
Aaron: Don’t worry everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it; it’s all going to work out just fine. Fuck you. It’s not, mom. <laughter>
Carlos: Um, worst advice...um...yeah, I don’t know.
Scott: Worst advice was: "Hey son, if you keep that up you are going to go blind." "Dad I’m over here."
<Everyone laughs>

PZO: What is something you would never give up and why?
Scott: <laughs> Yeah, man, woo. Oh yeah, who-hoo-hoo.
<Scott and Carlos slap hands>
Aaron: Let’s not say that.
Carlos: Stuffed animal collecting.
<Everyone laughs>
Scott: Yeah, something, um what’s the question again?
Aaron: What is something you would never give up and why?
Scott: Breathing, well I’ll give it up once, but that will be it pretty much. Yeah, so breathing.
Carlos: <Looks at Natalie> I’ll never give up loving you. <Gives Natalie a long hard sexy look into my eyes> And you too. <Gives PZO_Friend a sexy look>
<Everyone laughs>
Scott: That was good.
<Lights on tour bus dim down>
Carlos: Thanks. <Everyone still laughing>
Scott: That’s so smooth.
Carlos: The lights were for you too.
Scott: Yeah, that was nice, the light show.
PZO: That was a good touch.
<Turns lights back on>
Aaron: There you go.

PZO: What fashion or fad would you like to see make a comeback?
Carlos: By the way when you talk about this, in parenthesis can you put: gives a long hard sexy stare into our eyes?
PZO: I can do that.
Carlos: Okay cool.
PZO_Friend: And talk about the light show. <Everyone laughs>
Scott: What’s your question again?
Aaron: What fashion would you like to see comeback? And why.
Scott: Oh, got ya.
PZO: Fashion or fad.
Aaron: Fashion or fad and why, in your own words. <laughter>
Carlos: I liked the pants that had the roll thing. <Starts rolling up his jeans>
Aaron: Pegged pants, yeah.
Carlos: Pegged pants, I mean<points to his pants> why did it ever go out of style? <laughter>
Scott: Fucking loser. <Everyone laughs> You know I am a big fan of the future; I’m excited about it.
Aaron: I wish that future look would come back. <laughter>
Scott: So like, fad or fashion from the past, all that retro nonsense. I say fuck it. You are keeping away the inevitable which is the future, which is space clothes.
Carlos: Oh and this thing where the kids did this in school where they did this thing. <Crosses his velcro on his shoes to make a criss cross>
Aaron: Velcro <laughter>
Carlos: That’s pretty cool too.
Scott: See I don’t dig it. I don’t dig it. Back to the Future two, they don’t even need velcro.
Aaron: I wished those parachute pants would come back. <laughter>
Carlos: Oh and then there is the one when they did this. <Tucks his pants into his socks> That’s pretty cool too. <laughter>
Aaron: I wish that big baggy t-shirts, shorts, and baseball caps would come back.
Carlos: I wished that the crooked hat thing would come back, and you know.
Scott: I wish that tattoos were cool again. <laughter>

PZO: What song are you most proud of and why?
Scott: "Sir Duke".
Aaron: No, one that we wrote.
Scott: Oh
Aaron: A Reel Big Fish song.
Scott: Oh, "Sir Duke". <Everyone laughs>
Aaron: I’m most proud of the break down of “Scott’s A Dork” <Starts singing> With all the voices say dork, dork, dork, dork, dork, dork, dork, dork, dork.
Scott: That’s a good part.
Carlos: I’m most proud of at the beginning of “Dateless losers” when I go one, two, three, four.
Scott: “Sir Duke” <laughter>
Aaron: I’m most proud of, “Sir Duke”

PZO: What is your most embarrassing moment onstage?
Scott: With this band or other bands?
PZO: This one.
Carlos: Well, remember the one time we all forgot what instruments we play.
Scott: Oh yeah.
Aaron: But that wasn’t funny, it was embarrassing.
Carlos: Yeah it was embarrassing to me because I totally forgot what instrument I played.
PZO: How can you forget what instrument you play?
Carlos: I don’t know how we did it, the curtains went up and I was holding a trumpet.
Scott: Well, when you are really done up on coke, <Everyone laughs> some things get a little crazy. We had been sitting around snorting <makes pig noises> for probably about two hours, and then we decided to do some coke. Stuff gets kind of crazy. It’s rock and roll. <Shouts> Stuff gets kind of crazy. It’s rock and roll. All right embarrassing, I don’t really get embarrassed it doesn’t make a difference.
Carlos: I get embarrassed sometimes when I start the wrong songs. <Everyone laughs> It’s happened to me more than once.
Scott: How can you start the wrong song? Well when you are doing a lot of coke <Everyone laughs>
Carlos: That’s pretty embarrassing.
Aaron: Oh, don’t worry about it.

PZO: What do you think is the most important thing to get out of life?
Scott: Yeah, I think the most important thing is to get out of life. <laughter>
Aaron: You’re right, that’s a good question.
Scott: The most important thing to get out of life is, when life gives you lemons, it rains, it pores.
Aaron: If you keep picking it you are going to get the mumps.
Scott: That’s right. <laughter> You can’t kill two birds with a medicine cabinet.
PZO: That makes no sense at all.
Aaron: You can lead a dog to water, but you can’t teach an old dog the make itself a person with a pig and a poke.
Scott: That’s right. <laughter>
Carlos: What was the question again? I am so lost.
Aaron: Get out of life.
Scott: Get out of life. Yeah, get out of life I think that’s it.
Aaron: Yes, true.

PZO: If you could change places for a day with someone who would it be and why?
Scott: Fonk Jenson, if I could be Fonk Jenson I wouldn’t even leave the house. I would sit there and play with myself all day long. She is a beautiful woman.
Aaron: How is that any different then what you do now? <laughter>
Scott: Oh, because I am not a beautiful woman when I am playing with myself. No, but if I could trade places with anybody in the world it would be the president. I would get on TV and I’ll be like, “Oh everybody all fucked up, listen to what I’m going to say.”
Aaron: I’m really drunk right now. I’m really drunk but check this out. <laughter>
Scott: It doesn’t have to be this way, take some advice from me your El Presidente. This is what I say. Then I would start singing James Brown, “Uh, poppa’s got a brand new bag.” Then I would start disco dancing and stuff.
Carlos: I would like to be Prince because he is really talented and really nasty.
Scott: Super nasty.
Carlos: He is really little too, those little pumps he wears all the time.
Scott: You can wear pumps if you want too, you can just wear pumps.
Carlos: I think it would be pretty cool all around. I mean he has sex with all kinds of crazy girls, and he’s really talented.
Aaron: And he has sex.
Carlos: And he’s really short that’s pretty cool.
Scott: And he has sex.
Carlos: And he has sex too.
Aaron: And he’s talented.
Scott: At sex <laughter> See Carlos and I have never had sex, so we don’t really know what it’s like.
Carlos: I would be Prince and I would make good songs again like he did back in the 80’s.
Aaron: Back in the 80’s

PZO: What is one of the strangest gifts a fan has given to you?
Aaron: We get a lot of strange gifts.
Scott: Yeah.
Aaron: And I can’t think of any right now, but we get some strange gifts.
Carlos: I got a fruitcake onetime. I guess that is really not that strange though.
Aaron: No.
Scott: Somebody gave us their mom’s head. Yeah, that was really weird.
PZO: What?
Scott: It came in a big jar full of paraldehyde. You know you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not accepting. <Everyone laughs> You want to see it? <Does a booming laugh> Then you just say thank you very much and then throw it in the archives. We have this giant warehouse full of things that people have given us that are actually useless. <laughter>
Scott: And I don’t know if you are aware of this, but we also do some-
Carlos: Coke
Scott: International spy work. <Everyone laughs> There are a lot of crazy things in this world you just don’t want to know about. So we have a warehouse full of archives from our wacky adventures. We have a hot air balloon, and petrified giraffes.
PZO: You can fit them in the warehouse?
Scott: Yeah, it’s a big warehouse. We have a piece of an alien spacecraft.
Carlos: Herbie the love bug.
Scott: We have the actual Herbie the love bug, not the Disney one but the actual real life one.
Aaron: The real one that the story was based on.
Scott: Yeah, you have got to feed him, but we have someone hired to do that, Buddy Hackett. Buddy Hackett <Everyone laughs> we have stuff like that.
Aaron: We have Buddy Hackett.
Scott: And we have Buddy Hackett too, that was a bonus. See we got Buddy Hackett and then we were all, oh he can feed himself too.

back to interviews