Finding Yourself: It’s Not as Easy as It Seems
By: Joyce Sutedja
Teenage life is supposed to be easy, isn’t it? That’s
what our parents tell us (you know, the dreaded “when I was your age…”
story and how we have it great now), that’s what the movies tell us,
that’s what the media and advertisements tell us. Teenagers should be
romping around streets having fun, hanging out with friends, when in
reality, this doesn’t even begin to portray the feelings a normal teenager
has: frustration, confusion, annoyance at not being understood. It’s
the quest of every teen to find his or her self, and this process is
not an easy one.
I know that a lot of us put on different masks. I do it all the time.
You know what I’m talking about. You act differently around other people,
not only accentuating certain parts of your personality, but when something
comes up that you don’t know about, you pretend you do to save yourself
from humiliation. I think we all do it at one point or another. My freshman
year of high school, I had so many friends, but I was different with
every single one of the groups I was in. My friends from one group would
complain that when I was with a certain other group, I would snub them.
When I realized what I was doing, and how much I was hurting people,
I really had to take a good look at myself. That’s when I asked myself
the big question I’m sure you all have at one point or another: Who
am I? Before thinking about it, I had unknowingly just picked up the
likes and dislikes of the people I happened to be around. But now, I
was asking myself questions, like: Do I really like to dress this way?
Do I really like this type of music? Why am I always jealous of my friends?
The answer to most of the questions was clear: I didn’t like to dress
that way, I didn’t like that music, and I was jealous of my friends
because they knew the way they were was what made them popular. And
no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be them; I was stuck with myself.
This isn’t to say that finding yourself is by any means simple. After
I figured this out, my self-esteem plummeted. I’d dug myself a hole
and as hard as I tried to get out, it just seemed to get deeper. The
process of beginning to find out who I really was took months…and if
you haven’t figured this out, it’s a very hard one. As a society like
this, we are constantly bombarded with what we should be like, and it’s
hard to find oneself while one is being smashed with images, clothes,
music, and the lifestyle one should have, but in reality doesn’t really
exist.
So, how do you start? I would say, just start with asking yourself a
few simple questions: Am I really doing what I like, or do I follow
the lead of my friends? Am I happy with who I am right now, or do I
feel like there’s more to me that I haven’t discovered yet? If you’re
not doing what you like, and you feel that there’s more to you that
has yet to be known, you just have to start by distancing yourself from
the negative and focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Don’t dig
yourself into a hole. Keep your self-esteem up, but slowly and gradually
realize what it is you truly love to do. Is it dance? Music? Art? Writing?
Computers? Talk to people? Everyone has a talent that’s waiting to be
shared, and through that talent, a good self-concept, and encouraging,
supportive people, you can find who you are, and be happy with it.
However, keep in mind that the process of growing is a never ending
one, and you’ll constantly be learning about yourself as life goes on.
Just don’t be a follower; take the initiative and find out who you really
are, and take the first step in being satisfied. Don’t do it for anyone
else; do it for you. We all know it’s not as easy as they want us to
think it is.
